Take me home!

"I crave those nights of power cuts when we stepped outside our rooms to search for the constellations we had read about in our science book. We talked about how the Earth struggled all day to find its exact position at night so that... 'so that the moon and stars could listen to us,' I interrupted. She smiled as I giggled. " You can wipe that silly grin off your face!" she added while patting on my head.

I crave those stories you read from your literature book, the ones you narrated to me. I listened, only to realize how terrible narrator you were back then—and no wonder, you haven’t changed a bit!
I crave those stories now; to me, they were the best bedtime stories of all time.

But then, what I crave even more are those evenings when you held my hand and pulled me along to take me home, as the sun said goodbye, while your little sister still wanted to play.
The morning prayers at school felt so special because you sang the anthem holding the mic. If only you realized that a little girl was watching you in awe, mesmerized by you.

I look for those eyes that looked upon me when I was nervous on stage but recited my poetry in standard 3, because of that familiar face smiling at me and stood 1st prize!

The most awaited Sundays were spent so well because you were there, sitting next to me, watching Duck Tales, Hercules, and Mickey Mouse. I sigh, wishing I could go back to those days again. I would have focused more on the beauty of those moments. I would have loved you even more if I had known I’d only get to see you once a year—if only!

The summer vacations, when we had a mango eating competition and spent our afternoons watching Tarang, reading comics and discovered new science crafts

Most of all...I crave for that sound of your laughter, that is still music to my ears....and that look in your eyes that never fails to say how much you care.

It has been so long since you held my hand and crossed the road. "C'mon! grow up now!", you say I know , but I am still your little sister who craves for your attention. I wish I could ask you one more time that the day is closing, take me home...just pull my hand and take me home!

Letter to Ellie (Inspired by Up)

Dear Ellie,

Your Carl, who always had considered himself a dork, knew you the moment you entered into his room through the window, I swear that too in the midnight just to show him your adventure book!

I still remember that spark in your eyes when you kept saying, " You swear you won't tell this to anyone..first cross your heart!" until he nodded. That squeaky voice still echoes in my ears that you said to him before you left.."You know, you don't talk very much, I like you!" and you just went away.

If only you could see how his silent gaze followed you until you were out of his sight as if he knew it was only you he wants to be with.

Throughout your married life you know, how blessed he felt he was, to have you in his life. All he wanted was to let you know how special you've always been to him, but never could he say a word. Oh, Ellie! if only you knew, or maybe you did! Maybe Carl's soft gaze at you and that honest smile was enough to say it all.

We all know, from Day 1 how insanely crazy you've had been and how bad you wanted to live a life full of adventure. You two even started saving for that dream house at Paradise Falls. How beautiful was that and crazy too! But, life had other plans, and you passed away. 

You know since you've been gone, that dorky Carl became a grumpy old man, who started living for an incomplete dream, the dream that you two have had! The dream that completed the last page of your adventure book. Yes, all he wanted was to build a house near the Paradise Falls, as you mentioned years ago. Struggling inside, he not only became rude to the world around him, but to himself too, before he came across something that reminded him of your words...

It took a real adventure for Carl to realise the truth that there was no such adventure you wanted to live, other than him. And you lived your adventure to the fullest in the home built with love and dreams! Your wish was already fulfilled..growing old with him.

You taught us, life is not about tomorrow's adventure, but what/who we have today that makes it worth living. Thank you, Ellie for this beautiful journey to show us the meaning of life...!

With love,

The girl on the other side..

                       ***Curtain falls***

Letter to Tara

Dear Tara,

Everyone could see Ved's story, his moods, his struggle. But, nobody could see, what you went through in those years you two were apart.

I still remember while leaving, how you threw your head back to the seat, the moment I realized that you're never gonna see him again ever, perhaps you realized the same.

Thank you, Tara.. for showing us the true meaning of trust. When Ved said.."I am a face in the crowd. I am not the one you're looking for. Leave me alone!" Trust was looking into his eyes and knowing the inside struggle he was going through, without him saying anything about it. Trust was holding onto the faith in yourself and your love, without any judgements. Trust was when holding on his gaze you said to him..." Yahi toh baat hai na Ved..Yahi toh tum nahi ho!"

Ved could see those teary eyes of yours and still he chose to let you go. It was not the pain he was giving you..Tara! But rather a punishment he was giving to himself. Yes, your teary eyes were his punishment, more than yours! 

It was you who made him smile, when he felt lost.

If only you knew you've always been his happy pill, just the way he had been to you.

How do you think it was easy for him to let go off someone who could actually see him in a world where he felt invisible..lost in the crowd.  

What if Imtiaz is correct when he says.."we often are scared of the ones who can see through us!" 

And sometimes, we distance ourselves from the ones we love even if that tears us apart, not bcoz love is not that strong between the two, but to let something else take its place, only to realize in the end that nothing can ever replace it!

(ref. Tamasha)

You are the power, not a pardon!

Lady, you aren't the damsel in distress,

who danced with the prince in a disguised cindrella dress,

B'coz you are worth more
than a disney princess,

Don't you suppress your power,
don't shy away your grace,
Dance your face off in your old t-shirt
And let the pieces fall out of place,
Even your flaws are worth the embrace..

The irony is that ...

She carries the wings of fire,

But for the world to find solace,

she sometimes curbs her own desire..

At times she doubts her own reality,

As she is oblivious to the fact 

of her true identity,

Pondered on all her delicacies,

she is painted by the Lord 
with a dash of magic and more of fantasies,

Vivid dreams are inculcated in her mind,

As her existence is a gift to mankind..

You crave to touch her body.. her face,

But, if only you could listen to the voice of her soul,

You could see her real beauty...her grace!

You wonder how her mood swings,

from crazy to wild,

B'coz her emotion runs the nature,

As the cloud needs thunder,

and the ocean needs tide to survive.. 

You think for no apparent reason she cries,

Little do you know,

she smiles more often swallowing her own pride,

Before you see how broken she is inside...

B'coz most of the times
 she believes there is more to life
 than her own happiness and the comfort she can't abide..

Oh, Lady! Lady!! I beg your pardon,
but all your colors are beautiful, and you've no good reason to hide!

Little things aren't little

His visit to India after years, took me to a trip down the memory lane. My childhood memory flashed before my eyes and I revisited that place where some old familiar voices kept longing to be heard, and today they echoed from the back of my mind... I shrank from within for not visiting the beautiful place that belonged to me...and  how I swept by the tide of time and got entangled in my own cobwebs that gathered around me in my pursuit of becoming a successful person.

I still remember that summer evening, birds chirping outside and a gloomy silence inside filled my room. Suddenly the silence broke, a five year old child, came running with tears in  her eyes,"I have my fancy dress competition tomorrow, and I will be the only princess with no crown! Can you help? Pleeease!!"

"I have my pastel colors and drawing sheet and also glitters with me.", I added wiping my tears.

A voice came from the other end of the room, "Alll..right! leave your stuff on my table. Let's talk tomorrow."

That night, I couldn't sleep properly from anxiety, that event is very important to me and  Kavita Mam clearly said that princess has a crown. Vivid disturbing thoughts were crossing my mind. God! Please help..! By no means, I am going to attend my competition without my crown. Noo...way!! Those thoughts kept me up.

Next morning,  as soon as I opened my eyes, I anxiously ran into his room. Oh! noo..! he was sleeping!!

I slowly moved to his table and found his thick books that were strictly prohibited to be touched by children were lying on his table half-opened. But, my colors and sheets...where are they? I tried shifting those books. "Phew!! why are they so heavy! they are just books". I searched for my colors keeping an eye at him to make sure he doesn't catch me touching his books, then I took a step back and tiptoed to the door.

I said to myself, "Perhaps, it was a foolish thing for him to do that or maybe I was foolish to think! How does that matter, you're not a princess, anyway!" with a deep sigh of disappointment, I said to myself, as I collected my color box as soon as I found them lying behind those overweight books.

I turned back once again to see if he was awake by now. He was still asleep. And suddenly, my gaze fell upon something in golden.. wait..what is that?  My jaw dropped in surprise and eyes filled with joy, I blinked my eyes a time or two to clear my vision ...a crown? Oh! Lord! Yes, it was a  beautiful handmade crown, lying next to his table fan, decorated with glitters!! It was indeed the most wonderful crown, even more beautiful than those I've seen in those disney cartoons. Awww..he really did that!! He made me a crown! I was so awestruck!

On my way to school, I kept smiling. It wasn't about the competition anymore because I already had my prize!

After years, I realized I got two prizes that day, one was the acknowledgement of how lucky I was to have an elder brother like him, another one was the crown made by him.

Even after years, he is the same man now, with that same old love and compassion in his tone. Nothing has changed him- living abroad for years with his family, two children, job, and other responsibilities. Today, as I am sharing my old memory breaking all those strands of complacency coiled around me, and recollecting old pages of memory, I know that he may laugh at this, because maybe he doesn't remember in details, maybe he counts it in little things, but for me, it wasn't ! It was not mere a crown to me, but keeping a child's trust, not mere words that came out of his mouth, but a promise...or maybe.. much more than that!

Treasure Of Happiness

Undoubtedly, the vision of tomorrow thrives us while other times we can't deny the fact that there also resides an illusion inside that, only tomorrow will bring us happiness, and not today, drains us.

A thought in our mind always exists, that our next moment is going to be our happiest moment once 'this' happens to us, or once if we achieve 'that'. But, the truth is it doesn't work that way.

Happiness is never the next destination, be it your next job, or next place, or maybe next person, Nooo!! Absolutely not! It is like a mirage, from miles away you can see an oasis in the desert and the moment you reach out for it, it's not there! So is happiness, never present in that point where you have been looking for, but always lying right here, next to you.

Sometimes in the struggle, while other times in those small unnamed moments spent with people we love, but always here with us in this very moment we are living in, and if you can't feel it now, you are never gonna find it in the next..!

 Like the innocent musk deer [KasturiMrig in India] enchanted by a scent, who keeps roaming madly, miles and miles to discover the original source of the fragrance. Unaware of the truth that the musk gland also called 'musk pod' is present inside them in a pouch in their naval, that emits the fragrance. [Kasturi in Indian Ayurveda]. They spend their entire life running after that wonderful fragrance, looking for its source and never gets to know the truth. What an irony!

Seeking for treasure of happiness in our spiritual journey, we are already missing it! We should smile for the 'now', the most precious moment is already happening in our life !

The Choice

Life is all about the decisions you take and the choices you make.

A choice between what's easy and what's worth fighting for,

....that's where you find your passion.

A choice between what's worth letting go and what's worth waiting for, 

....that's where you find your love.

A choice between existing and living ,

....that's where you find life.

A choice is all that matters in the end because one day when you'll look back you'll see in between all those choices you made...you found your true self.

Choose wisely !